Saturday, December 24, 2011

STEELERS: Bill Clay's alive?

Any time that Big Play, Willie Gay roams the Steeler secondary on the same Xmas Eve in which somebody named Have-A-Day, Johnny Clay puts on a blk-n'-ylw Steeler jersey and turns his first NFL carry into an 10-yd. TD, one can't help but think of the name which Hans Gruber used when he met John McClane face-to-face for the first time.

"Clay ... Bill Clay ..." -- the very name which he stole from the Nakatomi Bldg. directory!!!!

Willie Gay ... Johnny Clay ... just stay out of their way or you'll pay, listen to what I say. "How about I just go eat some hay? I could make things out of clay and lay by the bay. I just may, whaddya say?"

That's too much movie overlap too early in this transmission, but that's what happens when the Rams appear on the schedule. The only truly memorable moment of today's 27-0 win (other than the simply breathtaking [!] John Clay TD run) occurred during the opening drive when #96 for St.L (I'm too uninterested to look up his name; let's just say that it WASN'T Deacon Jones, okay?) zeroed in on the creaky-armed Charlie Batch and as #96 was about to gobble up the creaky-armed QB, creaky-armed Charlie Batch executed a nifty duck-for-cover/slide-to-his-left scramble before making the slightly-downfield flip (by using his creaky arm) to Rashard Mendenhall, which the RB turned into a 35-yard gain.

That HAD to please the 17-28 fans at Heinz who were wearing their #5 MENDENHALL jerseys.

As well as the 3 fans wearing their #16 BATCH jerseys.

But, since today might very well have been the final game at Heinz this season, we'll have to wait for the 2012 season opener to see if more than 6 fans are bold enough to wear their #38 CLAY jerseys.

It's too early (in his career) to tell if John Clay can achieve the #38 status which was carved out by previous #38 greats such as Sidney Thornton, Tim Worley, Jon Wittman and Carey Davis (the only ones which come to mind off the top of my head ... the last non-RB to wear that #38, as we recall, was LB Ed Bradley, the white guy who had the same name as the black guy on 60 Minutes, just as Mike Wallace is the black WR w/ the same name as the white 60 Minutes guy -- which fascinates me because, when we were kids in the '70s, the Colts had that white center named Mendenhall and the Giants had that black D-lineman named Mendenhall and it just sorta seemed like a cool name which blacks and whites could share equally, much the way that Rashard and BYU coach Bronco do nowadays and ... ) ...

... jeez, is it already time to get ready for the Browns?

Tough times for that ballclub which once had a black guy at THE QUARTERBACK POSITION named Spergon Wynn ... from the same '00 Draft as Tom Brady.

Watching three minutes of that Browns-Ravens game today (played in the stadium outside which the Johnny U. statue w/ the HUGE bulge in his football overshadows the textbook throwing mechanics he demonstrated back in the days before it was called THE QUARTERBACK POSITION) ... oh, r-r-r-right, we were talkin' 'bout why the NFL is usually a big, fat NFW (No Fucking Way).

Today's epicenter of irritation was when Michael Adams was flagged for interfering w/ WR Torrey Smith on the Ravens' first play from scrimmage (by the quarterback position making a deeeep throw to a speedster playing the wide receiver position the offensive side of the ball) ... the result: a 60-yard P.I. for a FD at the Browns' 9-yd. line.

It was a VERY iffy call by a guy playing the DB position vs. someone at the WR position ... and, if it is THAT borderline w/o the aid of a review, well ... let's face it: there's "no fucking wayyyyyy" that's a 60-yard P.I.

A 60-yd. freebie? The Brownies woulda been better off allowing a shitty backup DL hit Flacco after the whistle and then pick up three personal-foul penalties for 1) facemask 2) felony facemask 3) piledriving and/or sodomy.

Why not?
Put that motherflacco outta the game, outta the playoffs.

After the Brownies backup scrub is ejected, the refs can march off four 15-yd. penalties.

But, let's say that the motherflacco QB survives the violation, it might be worth it to have four Browns jump offsides before the next snap and beat Motherflacco within an inch of his life.

Hey ... it's only "half the distance to the goal" (laugh track).

First down at the 4-and-a-half yard line (laugh track).

Goodell's really earnin' his $10 mil-per, ain't he?

Just kidding ...

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