Friday, October 12, 2007

Football On Another School Night

Well, technically, Friday night isn't what's generally termed "a school night" -- in fact, Friday nights are, in theory, what is supposed to be reserved for high school football under those Friday night lights.
And, there was a time when the Apostles vowed, "There will be no college football broadcast on ESPN or ESPN2 on Friday nights so as to protect the sanctity of high school football."

Fortunately, most of the populace in the upper end of the age 18-34 demographic will have to wait another six or seven years before Friday nights are reserved for their daughter (or step-daughter) Sasha bringing home her freshman friend Naomi for Dad (or Step-Dad) to grope, but, until then, ESPN was kind enough on this fine Friday to indulge us in a pivotal conference (although we can't remember which conference) matchup:

Hawaii at San Jose State.

Upon viewing this titanic tilt played on a soggy, swampy Spartan Stadium field, America made a few mental notes:
A) The defending New Mexico Bowl champs probably won't be back to defend their New Mexico Bowl title.
B) Colt Brennan looks like the real deal.
That is, if "the real deal" is interpreted to mean "David Klingler Revisted" or "Tim Couch, Part 2."

SJSU -- home to this planet's most-renowned competitive eater (Joey Chestnut) and the alma mater of one of this nation's chief iconoclasts (Pitchfork7) -- took one on the chin by blowing leads of 28-14 and 35-21 in a 42-35, overtime loss to the Rainbow Warriors.

While this outcome can't touch the first two Hawaii-SJSU showdowns of June Jones' college coaching career (a 62-41 Hawaii victory in '99 -- in a game which SOME of us ALMOST attended -- and a 57-48 SJSU win on the island in '00), this outcome should be enough to put Hawaii on the inside track to the Fiesta Bowl and a berth against Pete Carroll's fire-breathing USC squad (since Ohio State and Oregon will tussle in the Rose Bowl in a rematch of '58 Rose Bowl when the leadership and ability of senior Galen Cisco and junior Dick LeBeau led the Buckeyes to a a 10-7 victory which cemented a national championship for Woody Hayes).

Gettin' back to the future, Hawaii's victory "on the mainland" probably should earn the Rainbow Warriors a spot in the Top 10 alongside this year's Top 10 powerhouses such as Boston College, South Florida and South Carolina (which features QB Smelley 'Cock).
All the credit goes to the pollsters for doing a bang-up job this season (beginning with the lifetime ban from the rankings imposed upon Michigan after losing to a respectable-but-somewhat-unknown Appalachian State team in Week One ... and ending with that slap on the wrist to USC for losing to that junior college team from Stanford last Sat.)

However, one confused guy who owns a vote (the Disneyland Sports Network's very own Chris Fowler) was somewhat incoherent in the aftermath of last night's Wake Forest win over Florida State.
Twice, Fowler informed America that FSU was "in deep trouble" following the defeat.
"Deep trouble" of what?
Making the playoffs?
Missing the playoffs?
Trying to look down Erin Andrews' blouse? (wink, wink)
Getting busted for staring at Erin Andrews' bust? (nudge, nudge)
Getting busted for players receiving passing grades for classes which they didn't attend? (shhhhhh ... not in Tallahassee!)

It's unfortunate that the Disneyland Sports Empire doesn't have Adrian Karsten or Dr. Jerry Punch to set the record straight and to inform America that a loss at Weak Forest by Free Shoes U. -- the defending Emerald Bowl champion -- does NOT represent "deep trouble" in the bid to become this nation's first "two-time defending Emerald Bowl champion."

So, it's in that spirit (i.e. Fowler's cluelessness) that some of us will boycott another Punchless "College Game Day" tomorrow morning (hosted by Fowler).

Many in the 18-34 demographic will be mesmerized by Herb Kirkstreit's hazel eyes and jelled-hair giving America his usual in-depth analysis, such as Team X needing to "get after it" -- but there is a name for that region of America which believes that Herb Kirkstreit offers anything more than empty, vapid opinions to go along with the hair product and the $750 sportcoat and the $175 necktie.

That region is known as "Loserville."

This is RRRRRRRRR kun-treeeee ...

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