Saturday, October 27, 2007

dixsin 4 highsmin

Some of us didn't bother with Game 3 of Sox n' Rocks in Rocktoberfest because it would've violated the sanctity of a College Football Saturday -- but, even so, it still hurts any/every time that Herb Kirkstreit violates our personal space.

Herbie acted all authoritative and know-it-all-ish when he told Fowler that Street Sense would win the Breeder's Cup Classic (an obvious attempt to make a "Streit/Street" connection) and, several hours later, he acted more indignant when he told America that nobody east of the Mississippi has seen Dennis Dixon play.

Street Sense, to the surprise of no one who thinks that Herb Kirkstreit is all show and no go, didn't win the Classic.
For those of us us (in this market) who actually HAVE seen Dennis Dixon play as many times as we've seen THE Ohio State University BLACKeyes play (in this market), we're repeating our mission statement to all those whose market is polluted by Herbie:
"He's less-knowledgable than Dr. Jerry Punch and less-dreamboat than Trev Alberts ... "

Herbie is merely a cutey-pie Fred Edelstein ... that's about it.

To bring America up to speed: We ain't in Rocktober any more ... Street Sense is a fourth-place nag ... and a great many people with basic cable and medium-def TV are able to form a coherent and cogent evaluation of Dennis Dixon's talents (without being influenced by the opinions of a slacker who couldn't beat out a stiff named Kent Graham for the starting QB job).

Let it be known, though, that this was a sad college football weekend from the standpoint that Bonnie Bernstein wore rain gear to report from the sideline at the soggy West Virginia/Rutgers game (thus covering up the only thing she has going for her -- "the bon-bons") ... this, two days after Erin Andrews had to cover up her sole assets (rack/caboose) with a slicker while workin' it at field level of the BC/VPI game.

What Americans east of the Mississippi need to see (FYI, Herbie) is these gals gettin' wet while wearin' nuthin' but t-shirts once we add some precip to the equation.
They owe it to the memory of Adrian Karsten.

Bonnie: "Do you know what the injury to Chad Henne is?"
Lloyd Carr: "I sure do." (Walks away).

Who thought we'd ever find ourselves sayin', "Goddamn, that was frickin' priceless, Lloyd Carr" and actually mean it?

Alas, this is what happens when we live in a land wherein a "Girls Gone Wild" DVD is edited poorly by Joe Francis and the end-result is so-called "cutting-edge sports journalism" instead of Bonnie and Erin doing what might come more naturally to them.
Topless and lip-locked.

Back on Earth, some of us DID click away from Disney Football and click over to FOX Sports to see Dennis Dixon QB'ing the Oregon Ducks past USC (even though Kirk Herbstreit told us not to because it might influence who HE thinks should win the Heisman).
Note: WVU @ Rutgers offered some intrigue, but we've sworn off all games in which Paul Maguire is clutching the microphone in the same manner that he likely carresses a bottle o' booze ('cuz even if his blood-alcohol level is hovering slightly below .24, the blood-stupidity level is locked in at 113 percent).

Anyway, 'SC was defeated in Eugene -- a loss which was cemented by two INTs by Duck DB Matthew Harper.
It was reported the Harper is the son of former Nebraska All-America LB Willie Harper.
This is intriguing from the standpoint that Willie was a 'Husker hero in '71 and '72, although he wasn't much of a head coach for those piss-poor Menlo-Atherton's teams of the late '80s).

However, Willie's knack for grinding out top-flight offspring, so it would seem, is impressive.
Although some of us don't know jack about Matthew Harper, we sure as heck-fire remember the good ol' days when we were dazzled by the talents of Willie's sons at Fremont High ... Willie Jr. and Johnny.

For those of us who reporting from the field when Willie, Jr. rushed for 190 yards in the third quarter of that game against Cupertino (Willie, Jr. finished with 350- or 360-some-odd yards), well ... we always knew in our heart that Johnny was definitely the better athlete (as his San Jose State career would attest).

Some of us can't remember if Willie. Jr. and Johnny were half-brothers -- and we don't know if Willie, Jr., Johnny and Matthew are half-half-half brothers.
What difference does it make, anyway?
We're all in the same tribe.

Besides, we can ask Willie, Sr. all about it when we see his next son starring for ASU or Cal in 2021 or 2022.

Yet, this isn't about Willie Harper, Sr. or Willie Harper, Jr.
It's 'sposed to be about Dennis Dixon rising up and becoming our fave Duck QB of all-time.
Ahead of those Duck QBs who lacked the necessary ooomph to win the Heisman ... Dan Fouts, Joey Harrington, Bill Musgrave, Tony Graziani, Kellen Clemens and, good gravy ... don't forget Akili Smith!

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