Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Disneyland's 24-Hr. B-Ball Rec Lg. 3-Ball Challenge

The Disneyland Basketball Channel always tries to pawn off its 24-hr./kick-off-the-season-of-37-percent-from-3-range as something unique and quirky (Monmouth vs. St. Peter's at 4 a.m., blammo!).

Let's face it, though ... even if this is the first ENTIRE coll. b-ball season with that Oprah-sanctioned Kenyamerican as prez, what we're looking at, b/ball-wise, contains nuthin' significantly more substantitive or entertaining than the erotic TV commercial wherein Ronnie's roommate offers Mrs. Hunter a Hall's Refresh.

That's right, kids ... it sucks, sucks, sucks -- and the only way to salvage it is to show the uncut version of the commercial wherein the mouths of Ronnie's roommate and Mrs. Hunter are suddenly one ... as two Hall's Refresh candies are violently tossed about in a wicked tongue collision & entanglement.

Sloppiest kiss in TV history?
That depends.
How much hi-def is America willing to handle?
After all, America doesn't seem too offended when Digger's performing felatio on Bobby Knight moments after Dickie V.'s puckered lips have danced gently across Bobby's buttocks.

Since SOME of us remember when they used to play basketball in this nation before it became a 3-ball ring-toss onto milk bottles, our only reaction is to re-create the same "Shun/Un-shun/Re-shun" paradigm which Dwight executed against Andy when the 'Nard Dog returned to Scranton following his stint at anger mgmt.

This b-ball marathon signals the dawn of the worst college basketball season in the history of this planet (or the history of the universe, depending on what rec league games are occurring in other solar systems) -- and if you don't belie"QUICK! Name your preseason All-America team!"

Can't do it, can ya?


The pumpkin-thrown-at-the-peach-basket soft toss which "Un-shun!" ^^^for our own amusement, some of us went ahead and assembled an '09/'10 All-America team, anyway.
And, it goes like so:

SOLOMON ALABI (Fla. St.) 7-1/251 So. Nigeria
ALEXIS WANGMENE (Texas) 6-7/241 So. Cameroon
YOUSSOUPHA MBAO (Marq.) 7-2/215 Fr. Senegal
MOUPHTAOU YAROU ('Nova) 6-9/215 Fr. Benin
TIJAN JOBE (Indiana) 7-0/250 Sr. Gambia*

* -- Al-Farouq Aminu of Wake and Arinze Onauku of The 'Cuse were declared ineligible for this team because, like President SportsFan, they were born in the U.S. (Aminu in Norcross, Georgia and Onauku in Lanham, Maryland) and they are U.S. citizens (wink, wink) as was Longar Longar (wink, wink) ...

Yes ... this lineup was so heavily damaged by the losses of Idong Ibok of Nigeria, Duany Duany of the Sudan, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute of Cameroon, Hasheem Thabeet of Tanzania and Bamba Fall of Senegal -- and a lot of people feel as though you can't win with three 7-footers (we'd probably go with a FOURTH 7-footer, but Vandy's Festus Ezeli is listed at 6-11) ... and then, they look at this lineup and they ask, "Who'll bring the ball upcourt?" (Answer: Does it matter? Seriously ... have ya seen point-guard play nowadays? Your Aunt Loretta's a better ballhandler >> but, if we are required by the laws of the jungle to have a backcourt presence, might as well make it Montana senior Vassy Banny of the Ivory Coast, although everybody knows that better floor leaders come from Burkina Faso, formerly Upper Volta) ...

And, then ... the next question is: "Who are the perimeter players? Who'll shoot the trifecter?" (Answer: Does it matter? Seriously ... have ya seen the bricks that scholarship players are chuckin' at the rim nowadays? Your Aunt Loretta would have a higher FG% shot-putting the rock from halfcourt than many of today's quote-unquote "jump shoo"RE-SHUN!"

"Un-shun!" --> Speaking of St. Peter's U., is not Blaise Ffrench redshirting for the Peacocks this season after transferring from UTEP? And, what's the big idea with the "Ff" which begins his last name? That looks Ffucckk"RE-SHUN!"


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