Monday, January 05, 2009

2 Tix 4 Sect. 124

Everybody hates it when they've just begun to ponder the complexities and nuances of the playoff tussle between The Curtain and The Bolts when a loudmouthed father of the patient is sittin' nearby and recounting the last time that the teams met in the playoffs (in Jan. '95).

"Blah blah blah, I was at that game, blah blah blah, and it was freezing and drizzly, blah blah blah and then O'Donnell threw the pass to Barry Foster in the end zone and Junior Seau knocked it away, blah blah blah ... "

It's equally sad when you inform him that it was Nobody's Linebacker From Nowhere (Dennis Gibson ... #57, not #55, numbnuts) who provided the tip-away and then Loudmouth Dad gets all pissy (downright huffy, like a high-school chick) and snaps back with, "No ... it was Junior Seau ... "

Being wrong is one thing.
Being wrong and PMS-ey to boot, well ... that's just bad manners.

When situations such as these arise, it's important to supress your inner-agitator/smart-ass and resist the urge to fire off the ultimate "gotta-get-the-last-word" with:

"Yeah, I think you're right ... I can only imagine how frustrated you must've been at that game when Fouts (it was Stan Humphries) threw that go-ahead TD pass to Alworth (it was Tony Martin) after Hank Poteat (it was Tim McKyer) got beat deep ... and don't even get me started about the Steeler D forgetting to cover Mosi Tatupu (it was Alfred Pupunu) on the TD which made it 13-10, my god ... "

Whodduh thunk: Pupunu and Poteat would get some love at this crazy time of year ... but, then again, who figured that the Mrs. would do somethin' wonderfully nutso such as securing two tix in Heinz Field's Section 124, 20 rows beyond the end zone at the closed end of the stadium?

It sounds about as crazy as the mixed-up dream a lot of us have wherein we grab the binoculars to watch the in-the-trenches, hand-to-hand combat between Steeler center Buzz Nutter and Charger d-lineman Coy Bacon.

Dreams never make sense ... particularly when we remember that Buzz Nutter was a Steeler center in the early '60s and Coy Bacon was a Charger d-lineman in the early '70s.

Mr. Itwasjuniorseau can't I.D. Buzz Nutter or Coy Bacon -- so, it's pointless to inform him that each player passed away in 2008.

Just as pointless is the fact that in the 1958 NFL Championship (which is often mistakenly referred to as "The Greatest Game Ever Played"), Johnny U. is takin' center snaps from Madison "Buzz" Nutter.

Now, Buzz Nutter is gone.

And so is Coy Bacon (and, it's fascinating to note how that on the 1973 Topps trading card of Coy Bacon -- No. 149 in that series -- he has no lightning bolts on his helmet and no number 79 on his powder-blue jersey >>> ah yes, the days when the NFL had no licensing agreement w/ trading-card companies, so players who were wearing L.A. Rams helmets, for example, didn't have a big, yellow swirl, but rather a plain, airbrushed blue helmet ... it really takes ya back, doesn't it?).

ENNN-NEEE-WAYYY ... Coy Bacon was not a member of the '82 Chargers who wore royal-blue bonnets and yellow trousers and earned a playoff win at Three Rivers ... nor was Coy Bacon a member of the '94 Chargers team (well, maybe he was, if we listen to Mr. Itwasjuniorseau) which was wearing navy-blue helmets while swiping the Steelers' spot opposite the 49ers in Super Bowl 29.

We'll hear it until the minute they kick it off on Sunday:
S.D. is 0-13 all-time during the regular season in SteelTown; 2-0 in the playoffs.

Then, it'll be our job to police Section 124, just in case anybody seated there confuses the current #57 Charger LB (Matt Wilhelm) for #57 Ghost of The O'Donnell-Pass Deflector Dennis Gibson.

This time, the Bolts'll be wearing their third different helmet/pant combo for a Pittsburgh playoff visit -- and oddsmakers'll tell ya that such a tactic almost never succeeds.

Some of us never have warmed up to the Chargers' white headgear, not to mention the fact that they seem mighty indiscriminate about when to wear dark blue or light blue shirts.

Ain't no big thang.

For as much fun as we had during the madness of the NFL's first-in-almost-13,000-games, 11-10 result two months ago, it seems obvious that we're destined for the first-ever 18-4 playoff final.

Unless Gary "Big Hands" Johnson knocks away that Bubby Brister pass in the first overtime period ...

In the end zone right in front of us ...


No comments: