Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Key Tips For CUP Engraving

That's right ... it's two (2) T's and one (1) R after the first syllable in VALTTERI -- and it's two (2) P's and one (1) L after the first syllable in FILPPULA.

That's so much easier to remember than the last name of the regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin's Utica branch ... "Filippelli," whose letter arrangement is something like one (1) L, two (2) P's, then two (2) more L's.

But, it doesn't matter if we can't remember the spelling of Filippelli, for it is Filppula's name which is goin' on the Cup, not Filippelli's.

Funny thing is, the rebound which Filppula (not Filippelli) tucked between Fleury's pads (for Goal No. 2) was acres more artistic than the Wings' first goal or their final goal.

Those were queer.

Rafalski wristing one (a shot? a pass?) off of Hal Gill's leg and then ... jeez, what the hell was goin' on when Fleury plopped down on his arse and pooped the puck across the goal line?

Talk about two bizarre images to commemorate this series -- Fleury farting the disc into the cage ... before The Unloved Ozzie (who is beloved by the fans who spend a lot of time jumping on and off -- and then on and off again -- the Ozzie bandwagon) gloving but not holding onto Cindy Crosby's last-second, backhand knuckleball, which led to Ozzie sprawling and flailing and flopping and poking and jabbing and stabbing at the puck ... enough to mess up Marian Hosebag's desperate tap-in attempt.

So, one puck crawled into the net -- and the other scooted along the goalmouth and obeyed the make-believe Do Not Enter sign (fascinating imagery captured by the overhead camera, but not by the Coke Zero Goal-Cam).

It's been a 6-year drought -- yet, it doesn't diminish the statement: Four Cups in 11 seasons for Hockeytown ... each one gratifying for different reasons (note: the cancellation of the entire '04-'05 season is not TOTALLY invalidated with this Detroit victory ... and none of us is sure if that lockout accomplished its goals since Detroit found its way back to the top while the other five traditional outposts of the Original Six -- Montreal, Toronto, Boston, Chicago and New York -- continue to, for lack of a better term, "languish").

Ironically, more-popular sports employ the popular practice of "lowering the bar" (it's disguised as -- say it together -- "parity"), but the Red Wings keep the bar high with shrewd moves and prudent acquisitions.

Not surprisingly, two of the NHL's legends which were keys to the previous three Cups (Steve Yzerman and Scotty Bowman) still have their hands/hearts/minds in the Hockeytown mix.

Which might be disappointing to Mullethead Melrose and Don Cherry (whose tailor used your grandma's old drapes as the material for that latest sportcoat).

Memo to Melrose: Anaheim ISN'T the best team ... and San Jose DOESN'T have the best talent -- because if that were the case, then THEY'D be hoisting the Cup.

Alas, they're not ... because the best team finds a way to win during crunch time.

The best talent finds a way to mesh at this time of the season.

In case Melrose can't do the math, Evgeny Nabakov has as many Stanley Cups as Ron Tugnutt and Darcy Wakaluk (zero).

As long as the discussion has turned to the guys who wear the fancy, customized masks w/ the protective cages, Ozzie continues to wear the plain version.

Solid red ... no mini-murals of a bear busting through a wall and devouring a dragon.

And, while everybody else is growing their scraggly playoff beards, Ozzie shows up clean-shaven every night.

For those of us who never jumped off the Ozzie bandwagon, we take great pride in pointing out that Ozzie's name is on the Cup three times when they're saying that he's not the best goalie, this-n'-that, blah blah blah ...

Suck on that, fans of Hart Trophy heartthrob Jose Theodore.

Oh, and as per the Red Wings winning the clincher in Pittsburgh when they were 35 seconds from hoisting the Cup at home two nights ago, well ... that's tough sh*t for anybody who was there that night in '94 when the Ozzie The Rookie and his teammates were booed off the ice following the Game 7 shocker vs. San Jose.

To those front-runners, your anger needs to be channeled in a constructive manner.

Such as egging Bob Essensa's house.

It's true: Revenge is a dish best served cold.

And, justice sometimes gets served frozen ...

No comments: