Overtime Crime (Times 6)

Ordinarily, when a game is tied following 40 minutes of regulation and five 5-minute OT sessions as the clock inches past 1 a.m., it's not difficult to imagine the typical American male lying in bed, checkin' out the action, glancing over at his lover (or life partner) and whispering, "Howzabout lettin' me nail you the way that Devendork is nailin' those J's."

It's almost impossible for that girl --- be it your spouse, someone else's spouse, a hooker (high-priced or crackhead) -- or that fella (be it closet gay, street hustler, NAMBLA text-message teen) to resist such a zinger of a hook and NOT slip off those scivvies and oblige.

Just goes to show -- a Thursday Night With Devendork tastes better when it turns into a Friday Morning With Devendork.

(Hint: So as nuthin' ends up "prematire," it's always best when you're "almost there" to close yer eyes and envision Boeheim ... sorta like the way he gives it to America up the poop chute every time his team takes the court)

It is ironic, isn't it? When an MLB game goes 17 or 18 innings, not too many Americans would ever call that "epic" or "Biblical" (although the same can't be said of the NFL or NHL because of the important element we know as "sudden death").

However, when an abortion of a ballgame betwixt Sorrycuse and AirCon goes deep into the night and when the afterbirth finally plops onto the asphalt in the wee hours (1:25 or thereabouts) of a Friday morning, it can often elicit powerful emotions from ESPN's play-by-play guy who called that game -- Pom-Pom Sean.

McDonough recapped the messiness in the following manner:
"We were especially privileged to be a part this et cetera et cetera et cetera, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda ..."

And, don't forget:
"We throw around words like 'courage' and 'heroic,' et cetera, et cetera and so forth and so on ... "

Seems as though Sean might've forgotten the word "bravery."
And "valour" ...
And "honour" ...
And "dignity" ...
And "fortitude" ...
And "passion" ...
And "zero grams trans-fat" ...

At first, it seemed as though Sean McDonough and much of America had completely lost their marbles, given that this was only a basketball game and nuthin' more.

Not mesothelioma research ...
Not mine-sweeping in Afghanistan ...

But, upon closer inspection, maybe America actually IS ready to embrace Devendork as its new B-Ball Messiah, just as it has embraced a Kenyan-American as its White House main squeeze.

40-Minute Devendork is nice ... but, Sextuple-OT Devendork ... that's a major chubby (although, when ya get right down to it, we can always DVR Devendork any time we want and then create a DVR Devendork Weekend Marathon ... as in "Devendork On Demand").

That kid's larger than life.
A little like Van Damme and Vin Deisel rolled into one.

Eric DeeVanDamme ...
Eric DeeVinDiesel.

And, isn't that what makes America (In Crisis) great?
Like Van Damme and Vin Diesel, DeeVanDamme isn't very talented, but, what makes him cuddly is the pasty-skin, the incomplete beard, the sleepy-eyed facial expression w/ mouth slightly agape and -- "wait for it" ... those tatts!

Yummy, yummy, yummy ...

When he leaped onto the courtside media table after he presumed that his end-of-regulation J had just made him King Of The Universe ... that was pure magic from The Deev.

Like the night before when he was talkin' shit, drainin' J's and then posin' with vanilla gangstuh gestures ...

"All y'all ... "

God bless, America ... and this (once-proud) nation under God is powerful because WE THE PEOPLE have forgiven Devendork for past indiscretions ... which is how Boeheim got Devendork's punching-in-the-face of a chick downgraded to (maybe) a slap ...

Before it was downgraded to (maybe) some mean words ...
Before it was downgraded to, yeah, it probably happened, but, c'mon, she's a chick and he's The Deeve -- and the beeee-yotch was probably askin' for it, y'know?

Oh ... and, in case anyone asks, the charisma of Boeheim is best-described in song, such as "who can take a rainbow / wrap it in a sigh / soak it in the sun / and make a groovy lemon pie / Jim Boeheim, man / Jim Boeheim, man, can ... "

Boeheim and Bernie Fine have created a legendary (who said anything about "outlaw"?) program (albeit one which, unlike the days of Tarkanian, doesn't usually win squat).

Anyway, the Sorrycuse Onganaets won because AirCon's clean program was 3 of 20 on 3-balls in the 6 OTs (Kemba Walker was 0 of 5).

While Jonny Flynn's 16-16 FT was very respectable and The Deev's 1 turnover in 61 minutes was impressive, this "one for the ages" concept needs to be stuffed into a Hefty trash bag and tossed into the dumpster.

Of course, if it's anyone from either roster doin' the tossin', get ready to chant "Airrrrrr-ballllll, airrrrr-ballll ..."

Now, go take your NCAA Sweet Sixteen losses like the brave little warriors Sean McDonough said you are ...

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